How's it going, you few people that actually follow me here? I hope things have been going pretty well for you, because up to this point in my life, nothing has gone well for me, if I'm very honest.
I don't want to sound like such a negative nancy, but things have been fairly rotten for me these past few days. Between having no steady income, next to no money, getting locked into conflicts with stubborn, out of touch folks, feeling stuck in the house, and cancelling every plan I make for myself this year, this constant wave after wave of negativity has worn down my creative drive, with absolutely no means of a mental refresh and recharge, let alone a safe, destructive outlet to this frustration that's been swelling up inside. I've found it difficult to boot my DAWS, or Photoshop, or Adobe Animate, for that matter, without having to feel a painful spike of anxiety, regarding how I'm going to be able to stay afloat financially. It's gotten so bad that I nearly gave up on being the artist I wish to be. I haven't yet, but the fact that that feeling was there for a brief time scared me.
I WANT to be able to deliver consistent, quality content, like the music I've been passionate about making the past few years, and I'm sorry that I've broken this vow I've made for myself. But life suddenly decided to be a cruel son of a bitch, and I'm having difficulty coping with it right now. & I'm not even sad about it either, because with the way I've been treated here at home, like I'm some useless overgrown manchild, I'm not even sad; I'm just angry. Like, Doom Slayer ripping and tearing levels of angry. And that's what scares me; like it feels like I'll never let go of this anger.
Anyway, that's enough venting, it seems. Until the dust settles, so to speak, I don't think I'll be uploading anything new here for a while. It may be for my own benefit to doing so.